Not feeling so happy

I’m back. It’s 1:30 in the morning and I just got home from work. I can’t believe that I’m back working these God-awful hours again! I’m not liking my job at Wal-Mart. It’s not that it’s horrible. I’m just resentful I guess that I took the time to go to school and get my med admin/assistant degree and I find myself a cashier! But this is the only place that has offered me full time hours. I’m not down really. I’m just not finding much joy in my life at the moment. I was so happy working at York Medical. Now, I hate going in to work. I hate every minute I have to spend there and I can’t wait to get out when my shift is over. I have to wonder if it’s always going to be this way for me. Never having any happiness or stability no matter how hard I work at it. It’s been nearly 8 years since Jeff and I split up and even though I keep on trying my best to get ahead, I never do. And at 44 I’m not in the best of health with the fibro and carpal tunnel,… I find working physically hard. What I REALLY want is a good long vacation to do nothing but rest. But I know that will never happen. Is this it? Is this the life that God planned for me? Wheres the fun? Wheres the joy? Right now I feel like I’m just existing. I’m really hoping 2008 will be a better year.
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