Todays topic: Bra’s

bra fittingI went shopping for a bra today. As I type this I can hear the groans of all the women who fight the same battle Such an effort just to find the right size bra. Oh the bra – Symbol of both the bounty and the burden of womanhood. Our barssieres support us from dawn till dusk, lift us up when we’re down and help us appear perky when we’re feeling flat. Then they proceed to stab us in the back or the side when we least expect it. They really are the most miserable thing ever invented. Infact, I will bet you dollars to donuts that it was a MAN who invented this contraption. Who else would dare put a WIRE in soft fabric. Do you think they have wire in their jock-straps? I think not. Besides, If men really did invent the bra, It would probably look like this.
mans invention
As for me. I do tend to be a ‘middle age’ woman so I’m not that tight, perky thing I was in high school. Infact, my boobs are so saggy they hang down so low they could be mistaken for testicles. Then theres the sizing. One size for your back,… one size for your cup. Get just one of these sizes wrong and you will live in torture for life.
I always thought I knew my size. But, apparently I don’t. The woman measured me and it wasn’t even close to what I thought. Then she proceeded to bring me every bra, in every colour for me to try on. Again I hear the groan from women who know,… Some too tight, some too loose, but nothing seems to feel good. I am starting to get cranky by this point. My face is red from all the putting on – taking off,… and I always have a problem doing these little suckers up. How is someone suppose to contort themselves to put their arms behind there back and then try and do up a tiny wee clasp? It’s just not natural. Yet, On the other hand, men seem to be able to undo them with one hand in the dark!!!! What is with that? Do they learn this at school in health class?
man unsnapping
Then theres the cost. What the hell? Are these things made with gold thread? I finally found one I could live with but – wait for it – $47.00. What on God’s earth could possibly be involved in the making of this apparatus to justify nearly 50 bucks??  The irony of all this is, The bra that I finaly found is the same as my old one.
On a good note, I finally got all my painting done. If I ever so much as see a paint brush in the next year be a dear and just slap me upside the head!!!! Any painting in this house will be too soon,….

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Peter
    Jun 05, 2008 @ 22:40:47

    Definitely one of your most informative "coffee confession"\’s to date ! Well done…Andy Rooney would be proud (it would have made a nice rant on Coupling too…LOL).
    Keep up the great rants !!!!


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