When to tell,…..

When you start dating someone new it’s wonderful. Getting to know each other,… Feeling your heart do that tiny little jump when you know you’re going to see him,… You cautiously start looking forward to the future rather than dread it. You go for walks rather than stay in and watch TV. You eat real cooked meals together rather than cereal, alone, in front of the television. Life is, decidedly, better.

But then there’s that nagging little thing in your head that is saying “You should tell him" It robs you of completely enjoying this new relationship. It nags,… It tells you you’re ‘withholding information’. It tells you ‘you are not being completely fair’. It tells you that what you are NOT saying to him is wrong.

But when is the right time? When do you take the gigantic risk of telling him the ‘whole’ story? That you may be well now but that wasn’t always the case. When do you tell the person you’re hoping to build a future with that you have the dreaded, stigma-ridden “Bi-polar” illness? It’s such a difficult step to take. You know that almost everyone else in your life has left you because of it. You know you run the risk of this person leaving you too. But you also know that at this point in time you are well. You are healthy. You are happy.

I want so badly to share all of my life with D***. He deserves to know. But I am really enjoying this time with him and I’m so afraid he, like everyone else, won’t understand. This whole issue is a burden on my shoulders. What to do?… What to do?.. He already knows about the carpal tunnel (of course – I can’t do many things anymore because of it which he sees for himself) I even touched on the fibromyalgia (which isn’t a big deal anymore) But the bi-polar? I just can’t bring myself to tell him. It’s too precarious at this point in time. I want him to get to know me. Not my illness. But is it fair on him? Am I justified in waiting longer? I want him to see firsthand that for the most part I live a fairly normal life. And getting to know me over time will show him this. I’m really at a crossroads here. I just don’t know what to do.

bad news

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Les
    Jul 04, 2008 @ 00:25:44

    Hello, there is nothing wrong with letting him get to know you for awhile first, just so when you do tell him, he can make a decision based on you. If he really cares for you, he will stick with you inspite of it… 😉

    Reply

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