Hands are getting much worse

Okay. I’m starting to get very frustrated with this damn Carpal Tunnel. It has gotten progressively worse over the past 3 or 4 weeks. And for the past 2 wks I haven’t been able to feel my fingers at all. Just numbness. I talked with my GP and she suggested I try calling the surgeon to see about moving my July 29th app’ t forward. I tried but he’s on holidays. So that’s a no go.  I can’t do anything anymore. The simplest of tasks I just can’t do. And I’m worried about the actual affects of what this non-feeling is going to do to my hands long term. Surly there is no circulation in my hands anymore. What does that mean? Will I suffer permanent damage now that I no longer have any feeling? And then there’s the most frustrating thing of all. I know in my heart that I just can’t work. How can I work when I can’t even do chores around my own home? It is beginning to look like I won’t be able to work until I’ve had the surgery. And I’m not getting any disability or unemployment so that is a very worrying thought. I have just cashed in my last RRSP. After this there is absolutely NOTHING left for me to draw from. It’s a scary thought. I have worked so damn hard to get where I am. But if things don’t change, the house will have to go up for sale. Michelle will have to move in with her Dad and I will be back living in a basement apartment. I’m giving it until the fall. And if the money situation just doesn’t get any better I will be forced to sell the house that has taken me YEARS to work at getting. Sometimes, Life just sucks. I don’t swear very often, but right now I am cursing my damn hands!

a sore hands

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