Reconciling with loved ones

I can’t believe it’s the end of the week already and Hayley has been gone for 3 days. It still seems really quiet and lonely without her.

Anyway, yesterday was a bit of an upsetting day. There was a very serious accident that happened right below my balcony. A car accident on the road below. I couldn’t help but see everything as it was literally a hundred feet away. And being on the 6th floor I unfortunately had a birds eye view. It was so serious that a helicopter landed in the field and evacuated someone away. I found the whole thing very upsetting. All I could think was there is a family out there that is falling to pieces. Their loved one seriously hurt. I felt terrible for them. (whoever they are,…) My heart felt heavy as I watched it all unfold. I couldn’t help but look at my own life and see all the unhappiness in it right now. The accident just reminded me that everyone has a time to go. They won’t be around forever. So I plucked up the courage and I called my Mom. We haven’t talked in months. She wouldn’t talk to me. But today, she did. And although there were tears, it actually went okay. Nothing is back to normal, but this is a start,… I really love my Mom despite everything that’s been done and said over the past few years. She’s not been the best health wise so I knew I had to do something now before it was too late and I regret it. Baby steps. I guess the next step is to drive out there for a visit. Maybe I’ll hopefully do that in the next few weeks.

Still no luck finding a job. I went around to a lot of places yesterday just to let them know that I had put a resume in a few weeks back and was still interested to know if they were hiring. Hopefully that will encourage them a bit to give me a call when they do need people. It’s very frustrating. I don’t like not working. It’s boring. I need to be out there doing something. Cross your fingers everyone,… I need the luck!

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