Two steps forward,… One step back

Well I think I have to admit that last week was a bit of a rough one. My therapist told me that I might find that it would get harder before it would get easier as time passed and she was right. Family and friends are getting on with their lives and I think they all kind of think mine should be too. I did what I needed to do (Hospital and therapy, etc,…)  and now most of that is done with so shouldn’t I be moving on to ‘normal’??

I’m trying. But this past week was hard. My sleeping issues have returned,… Insomnia is back,… fibromyalgia pain is back,…. And some low-level depression is back,… All the things that I took massive amounts of drugs to cover up before ~ are now back. I can’t take drugs to help me sleep anymore. I can’t take drugs to help the pain anymore,…  As I was told would happen, I now have to deal with these things drug-free and it’s really, really hard. I can’t deny that the craving to use to help me with sleep and pain is huge. HUGE! But I have not given in!.

I am still trying to be positive but I know I will sometimes slip. This week I had a few “set-backs” and  I didn’t go to my last 3 classes. That was a fail. I wasn’t happy about missing them but ~ it happened. There’s nothing I can do about it now. I just have to try harder from here on in. (Man when they said it wasn’t going to be easy ~ they meant it!!) That’s the nature of mental illness and addiction. It’s unpredictable. So having said that,… This week is a brand new week. I can forget past ‘failures’ and instead concentrate on success.

I am taking one day at a time.

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