Onwards and upwards


I know the past couple of entries have been quite negative. I think all the side-effects from my medications can bring me down. So sometimes you have to just kick yourself in the ass and try harder.

Today my friend ****** came over. I met her while in the hospital. Many of our issues are the same so I always enjoy spending time with her. I don’t have to pretend and I can completely be myself. And sometimes just being reminded that your not the worst off can be a good thing. After all, I do have many, many things that I am thankful for. So we both sat with coffee and treats and just vented to each other. I find that this helps. By the end of the afternoon I was in much better spirits.

At my last Doctors appointment she tweaked my medication some and even though its not a huge difference, there is some difference for the better. My shaking and tremors have lightened up a little so that at least I can do some things again. I’m still not comfortable around people as I get quite embarrassed about my shakes, but anything that is getting better instead of worse is always a good thing. After ****** left I felt “lighter”

I’m hoping that this mood lasts as with the holiday season approaching it would be nice to enjoy it rather than stress out about it. So I just want to look forward to Christmas now. The tree is up. And believe it or not my Christmas shopping is 90% done. (yay me!) I tried to get things done early so I wouldn’t have to go to any malls or stores after December 1st as all the people freak me out and I have anxiety attacks.

I’m hoping to drive to Barrie on Thursday to take Michelle shopping and once that’s done,… I am staying away from anything retail. Instead I will stay in my cozy little apartment and relax and try not to let anything get to me. Yup,… Onwards and upwards. I just do what I can and try not to feel guilty about the things I can’t do. So roll on Christmas,… I am ready for you now.


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