Getting cranky

Another wet & snowy day. I think Mother Nature has forgotten about us down here. The snow just keeps on coming. So I sit here once again to update this blog with a some-what frustrating post.

Things have definitely been slipping over the past month. I think it all started when I aggravated the fibromyalgia trying to shovel so much snow to dig my car out. My body has been in pain ever since. I have been in this situation before. Sometimes the pain lasts for just a few weeks until I can get a handle on it,… But sometimes it can go on for months and months and I’m really afraid that this might just be one of those times. Before when I went through this I was still ~ and I don’t even know what to call it ~ but I was in my drug phase. On so much medication I couldn’t feel anything let alone pain. But now that I have been to Homewood and got myself cleaned up and off of all that heavy sedating medication I was abusing, I now feel everything (physically,  mentally and emotionally) I can’t take anything for the pain but plain over-the-counter meds that really don’t do anything at all. So everything I do hurts. And it has been wearing me down.

My OCD has gotten much worse too. A lot of times the OCD is aggravated by stress and right now I am definitely stressing out from the pain. All those silly little things I do are getting worse. So much of my time is spent trying to stop doing all those things but I can’t. I’m not going to get into what they all are  (read last post for a few of my quirky list of OCD traits) but they are driving me crazy. I can’t even enjoy a TV program right now because I have to keep getting up to do all those dumb things. Over and over again. I don’t know what triggered this overload as I haven’t done anything different. I take my medication properly,… so what has changed?? I just don’t know. It’s the way the cookie in my life crumbles I guess.

So I am especially looking forward to spring and some nice weather this year. I think if I could go outside for a walk everyday my pain would lessen and therefore so would my stress. I think I just need spring to hurry up and get here. I think we ALL need spring to hurry up and get here. I know from experience that gentle exercises will help the fibromyalgia. So now all mother nature needs to do is hurry up and let spring officially arrive.



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