Two steps forward ~ One step back

Fibromyalgia:  Chronic widespread body pain which can wax and wane is the primary symptom of fibromyalgia. Both men and women with fibromyalgia often experience moderate to extreme fatigue, sleep disturbances, sensitivity to touch, light, and sound, and cognitive difficulties. Many individuals also experience a number of other symptoms and overlapping conditions, such as irritable bowel syndrome, TMJD, lupus and arthritis.  Stress often increases symptoms of fibromyalgia.

~~National Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain Association

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What a day I had today! My Fibromyalgia has come back with a vengeance. It’s been getting worse over the past few months as I get better (mentally) and find myself doing much more. But the cruel twist is the more I do, the worse the FM gets. Yesterday, all I did was wash windows. Something that should be no problem for most people. But for me, I woke up this morning in pain. It felt like my whole body had seized up leaving me in pain from head to toe. The worst area is in the neck. And when the neck seizes up, it triggers a migraine. So today I have done NOTHING ~ it’s just been horrible.

FM comes and goes. I had it under control for a really long time over the past few years just having minor flare ups here and there. But today I got blasted with a full-on attack. I will have to go to my Doctor but there really isn’t a whole lot she can do as I’m already on so much medication I don’t think I could handle yet another one. I’ll have to see,…

So today I have been a very cranky bunny. Well,… pissed right off if truth be told. I’m so done with this whole Fibromyalgia thing,…. So done,…..

BUT,…

On the other hand, mentally I have been getting better and better. I am going out a lot now. In fact over the past year I think I have done more than I had over the past 5 years when I wasn’t nearly as well. Friday night I went to a Baseball game and had a really great time. I’ve been out shopping, visiting, walking,… In short,… I have been happy. I do have to contribute a lot of that to my brother and sister-in-law as they have done so well gently coaxing me over the past few years to do more. Inviting me places, having me over, just trying to do regular stuff. If it weren’t for them I’d still be an agoraphobic mess never leaving my apartment.

So that is why I’m so pissed off the FM has come back. I have been working so hard to be better so I just can’t help feeling like this is so unfair. So as the title says,… F*ck you Fibromyalgia ~ Please just go away and leave me alone & let me enjoy my summer.

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