Happy New Year

2015

Well it is the start of a brand new year once again. Maybe my New Years resolution should be to write on this blog more often. I know its been a few weeks since I last wrote so hopefully this entry will catch you all up.

I have been clean & sober for 49 days now. And I have to say that is going really well. I don’t miss anything at all. Well, ok,… some days when the tremors are exceptionally bad I do feel like running to weed or alcohol to help but those days are far and in between. I feel much better being “clean” so I really don’t think I’m going to have a problem staying sober at all.  Yeah me!

I had a good Christmas even though I didn’t get to see my girls. I went to my brothers and had a wonderful day. I hope to get out to see Michelle at the end of January as it is her 24th birthday on the 30th. I can hardly believe my kids are adults now. Where does all the time go??

But I am still not bouncing back as quick as I would like to from my hospital stay in Homewood. I don’t think the new medication regime is working. Most days I am depressed and lethargic and am barely functioning. I know I can do much better. I have been in contact with social workers and CMHA and have been put on a waiting list to see a psychiatrist who will hopefully change my medications back to what it was before I went into Homewood. That ‘cocktail’ wasn’t perfect but I functioned (and felt) much better.

My rent unfortunately went up January 1st and along with other financial issues I am finding myself struggling to make ends meet. Well, I’m actually NOT making ends meet at all. So I know this coming year is going to bring up some new challenges. I have put my name down on the waiting list for public housing. I am NOT thrilled about this but I really don’t have much choice. I have started to need the food bank again which is really hard for me to do. It’s so humiliating but for now its my only option.  So it looks like I may be re-locating once again in the next year or 2 when housing become available. I’m not going to allow myself to obsess about it though. I know if I just do every ‘challenge’ step by step then I hope to not overwhelm myself. I have a lot of support from my family and friends which makes me feel less alone which is a big help to me.

Despite all of this I look to 2015 with optimism. Things could definitely be a lot worse for me but I am surviving. I have a roof over my head and food to eat and family and friends that love and care for me. Many people don’t have that. I met many people in Homewood and so many of them had no place to go once they were discharged. I was shocked really to know that so many people were literally homeless and alone with no support what-so-ever. It’s a common problem for people with mental illness. So I count my blessings every day.

And that is where things stand right now. Hopefully the next time I write I will be feeling and coping much better. Until then, Happy New year to you all.

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