Becoming Positive

Things have been going well this week. I have been going to 3 Narcotics Anonymous meetings a week now for nearly two months. At first I was quite overwhelmed with it all. Just walking into the room and seeing new faces was difficult at first. My anxiety was on overdrive. But now that I am getting to know the people a bit more and understanding what N/A is and how it works, I feel a bit more optimistic. I like that the group focuses on self-help and looking within yourself to change rather than ‘who’s on what drug and what terrible things they’ve been through’. It’s definitely all about “The past is the past and now the future is yours if you work for it”

I got myself a sponsor tonight. I felt it was time. I feel serious about getting well and never abusing drugs again. So I figured it was time to start the program. I choose a woman who has had over a year of sobriety and has worked the program herself with her own sponsor already. She seems very nice. It’s very important to really get along with your sponsor as you will be calling them everyday and going to them when you just feel like you need to talk with someone. Over the next few weeks we will be starting the steps of the program. I’m excited about this. I’m looking forward to looking within myself and hopefully digging deep to reach my demons and over time understand them and then rid myself of them. I’m looking forward to a clean and sober future. I’m looking forward to hopefully starting a much better life than the one I have had over the past years with my addictions. In short,… I’m looking forward. I haven’t done that in a very long time as I never felt that I would ever change and I would always have this addiction that was stronger than me. Now I know I can look forward to a healthier existence and hopefully be  happy in my life once again.

I have also been put on the list to go back and see my therapist at CMHA (Canadian Mental Health Association) So I can work on my mental health issues as well. I know I will always suffer from depression and anxiety, etc,… but therapy can help me live better with these disorders.

So I think the word for today is “Positive”. I can already see changes in my life that are better and I’m hoping that continues in the future. I know it won’t be easy but at least now I want to try.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Lori Boudreau
    Jun 10, 2015 @ 01:29:44

    I visited ..everyone goes through something. Your writing gives me strength. You should write a book or be a comedian..lol. You are an amazing person for doing this…for you.. Congrats!

    Reply

  2. robbear13
    Jun 10, 2015 @ 05:00:12

    Well done, Jacquie! You may fall down ten times, but the secret is in getting back up ten times! You are not your illness; you are much more than that! The illness is a nuisance and an inconvenience; it is not the story of your life!

    I’m so glad to hear that you are making progress. But I also think strange things about being positive, I recall a short bit by Canada’s iconic comedy team:
    John Wayne: Only fools are positive.
    Frank Shuster: Are you sure?
    John Wayne: I’m positive!

    Well, positive or not, you are making progress! That is the important thing. And if you think “Positive” is the way to describe your life, ignore John and Frank, and have a wonderful day, and week, and month!

    Blessings and Bear hugs!

    Reply

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