It’s all happening,…

It has been a busy couple of months with a lot happening. Some good,…some not-so-good,….

The good news is I am still clean and sober and feeling much better for it. 4 months now! And on top of that, I have been much happier and content ~ very little depression. So that’s a positive.

But there’s been quite a few little things going on that seem to be getting on top of me and that dreaded word ‘anxiety’ has reared it’s ugly head. I had an ultrasound done on both my shoulders the end of May only to discover I have a tear in both of my rotator cuffs. A few weeks back I had 3 steroid shots in the right shoulder. It wasn’t too bad. When the freezing came out it was quite achy for a few hours but nothing to worry about. Today I got 3 shots in my left shoulder and it hurt. I’ve been in pain for well over 14 hours now. I can’t move my arm for all the pain. Don’t know why this time it’s so different but I’m starting to get annoyed. It’s 2 in the morning and I can’t sleep because of it. (hence the late night blog entry ~ typing with one hand)

I had a very minor procedure done on my finger last month. So stitches in ~ and then stitches out. While they were in I couldn’t get that hand wet at all. Have you ever tried washing your hair with only one hand? Another small but annoying endeavor.

I saw a new psychiatrist. I haven’t seen one in 3 years so it was due. I generally go to see how I am mentally and then they decide if my medication needs tweeking.  I really like this Doctor. I have to go again next week. I don’t mind if it helps keep things on track.

Wednesday I got my hair highlighted. But the girl put in way too many highlights and now I just look blonde. I have never been this light before and I’m not liking it at all. In fact it just looks trashy and I hate it. I wouldn’t mind so much except,…. I have a date next Saturday! (Pick your jaws up off the floor.) I haven’t been on a date in well over 10 years. YEARS! I met him in a Tim Hortons (can you get anymore Canadian than that?) We chatted together for a few minutes. He was working and it was 11:00 at night so he didn’t have much time. I gave him my phone number not really expecting to hear anything. But he texted me. So we’ve arranged to have dinner next Saturday night. I’m terrified. What will we talk about? What about my social anxiety? I’m stressing hard and its still a week away. (still time to cancel??) So the horrible hair is just adding to the anxiety. I look a bit like a tarty has-been trying to pass for 25 again – it’s awful! Oh the trials and tribulations,…

But the big news is that I got an email from Wellington county. My application on the waiting list for affordable housing has come to the top of the list. I am being offered a one bdrm apartment here in Fergus for $218.00 less a month than I’m paying now. May not sound like much but its the difference between having to use the food bank and not having to use the food bank. That’s always been a bit humiliating for me every time I went. That’s a wonderful, positive thing,…right? For the first day it was. But then my brain went into overdrive. I was over thinking everything until I was a big ball of anxiety having a mini-melt-down. The list of things to do started growing and growing with each passing hour until it became overwhelming. First & last months rent,.. cost of actually moving,… what if I cant bring Maggie? I don’t have enough time to pack everything. Not to mention I now have to get rid of a LOT of stuff in a very short period of time because I’m downsizing once again. What if its a noisy party building? The list went on and on,…

Anxiety ~ It’s a bitch! I’m trying to just break everything down into steps and do one thing at a time. But it’s still overwhelming me. The people in there now move out in two weeks. I get to view it then and then probably have to move August 1st. That is not a long time to get everything done. 6 weeks! So the mini melt-down continues.

But I’m trying to be positive and pro-active. A lot easier said than done. But I’m trying my best.

And this ends the saga of my past few months. Until next entry,…..


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. robbear13
    Jun 17, 2017 @ 05:18:22

    Thanks for sharing all this news, Jacquie. You’ve got a few challenges in there, but the housing thing is a real benefit. I’m so happy for you! And a date next Saturday. Wow! I hope that works out for you.
    Blessings and Bear hugs!


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