This heat wave is killing me

Well, this post will show you just how fast things can change for me.  Four days ago I was out with 3 of my childhood friends and had the best time ever. We went to this really pretty restaurant and had dinner. After dinner there was a fire we sat around while drinking coffee and chatting. It was an amazing evening.

But now,… things have changed. I don’t know if its this heat wave or what but,… I can’t sleep. I haven’t slept in 3 consecutive nights. I don’t mean in bed tossing and turning. I mean not even in bed feeling like I have had 18 cups of coffee. Not the least bit tired at all. I am so sleep deprived I feel like I’m on drugs. My doctor had given me a temporary medication to help me with that as I’ve been having trouble for a few months now. But its not helping at all. Now my concern is that the new medication that has been so helpful and has made me feel real happiness in well,… years,… has swung too far the other way. Instead of being sad and low,… it has made my mind wired. The weird part is that I have gone back to not wanting to leave my apartment again. I think for the most part because I haven’t slept and am wanting to stay inside to nap during the day (but can only catch an hour or two)  and I don’t want to see people when I’m like this.

How on earth can I change so drastically so quickly? People have offered me their homes to sleep in during this heat and horrible humidity, but I can’t because I’m not actually able to sleep. I would just be up all night bothering everyone. I have booked a doctors appointment for next week. I think this is serious enough to get in there and talk with her sooner rather than later.

I hate having mental illness for this exact reason. You think your on a great medical cocktail that is finally working for you, but then all of a sudden some difficult symptom appears that really throws you into a spin. One that effects you so bad you can’t really function normally. Why can’t I just be normal???


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Clare Woodgate
    Oct 30, 2017 @ 19:00:19

    Hi Jacquie, I have just been catching up with your coffee confessions which I haven’t read for a long time & was interested to see that you have moved. Would it be possible to have your new address as I would love to continue sending you birthday and Christmas cards – not sure if you got your birthday card recently as I didn’t know you had moved. I still miss getting your lovely letters but I still understand why you don’t feel able to write, but I want you to know that I would never judge you and I really value your friendship. I hope Michelle and Hayley are doing ok. Our daughter, Abby, has been living with her boyfriend, Brendan, 2 hours drive away from us since 3rd January this year and Chris is at Southampton University which is 3 hours drive away from us, so Steve and me are ‘home alone’ now. This means that we are doing yet more travelling around the country to see all our family. We celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary on 10th October this year and we celebrated by having an amazing 2 week holiday on the Island of Sicily in Italy (just the two of us). I work 5 afternoons a week as a receptionist at a local Solicitors at the moment which keeps me busy. Anyway, must go. Love Clare xxx


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