It is a sad day,…

I have a friend that I have known since I was 2 years old. But over the past year and a half things changed and now I have to let this friend go,….

To some they may think it was all over a comment. But it wasn’t. The comment was just the beginning. I had the worst f***ing year and a half of my life ~ and that is including the loss of the twins way back in 1989 ~ and in the end,… she was more concerned about how she looked than being my friend. The last ever message I sent to her was me pouring my heart out to her and all she could write back was “sorry you feel that way,….” so I ended our friendship with these last words.

…I was hoping you would say let’s put this behind us. but. ok. I guess when you make a mistake you pay,…” (and having re-read that – I didn’t even make a mistake!) I hope you have a great future and a happy healthy life….” That was April 30th and I have heard nothing since. As far as I am concerned,… SHE is the one who needs to come to me and apologize for the comment assuming I thought her and J*** didn’t work hard. SHE is the one who needs to apologize for letting stupid comments and words get in the way of being there for me over the hardest year of my life. I admit to her I was suicidal and she just looked right over that and ignored it. Instead,… focusing on what I did wrong. What did I do wrong???????

Over the past year and a bit I have learned so much. I learned who my REAL friends were. Because THEY came out of the woodwork and gave me REAL help. They didn’t care I was having a break-down and was prickly to deal with,…. THEY didn’t care about words,… THEY showed up with REAL answers and help and GOT ME THROUGH. THEY turned out to be the people in my life who cared. Overlooked the bad to make sure I was alright. Where was B***? Good question,… She was on the sidelines feeling hard done by,….

As far as I am concerned,… If she truly cared,… she would have been in touch a long time ago,…. but it’s been nothing but silence.

So today,… I unfriend her from all social media. 😦 A 56 year friendship ~ gone. All because she took offense to a comment I made that wasn’t even about her. It’s a sad day.

It’s been a good summer

It’s hard to believe that only 6 short months ago I stood looking over the bridge into the Elora Gorge trying to will myself to jump. My world had imploded and I thought I was going to be homeless. I really did feel the only solution was to end my life.

Today,… I am happy. My finances suck obviously, but everything else is going well. I am healthy. And my life is expanding. No longer am I sat inside my apartment all day trying to fill up the long tedious hours. Everyone here at the apartment building is all back to being friends again. (Can only blame the pandemic/lock-down for the problems we had with each other ~ simple frustration). Now I spend a lot of time outside sitting with my gazebo friends. Not the most exciting but it’s better than watching tv inside.

My friend J** and I have been going out on the motorcycle a couple of times a week. I’m really enjoying that. I am experiencing a lot of pain when I ride but it’s still worth it to me. Just getting away from this apartment complex and getting out into the country leaves me refreshed. My life doesn’t seem so stale anymore.

My “58th” birthday is coming up on September 7th. My cousin J**n and I are birthday twins so we’re going to celebrate it together. Michelle and J**h are driving down from Barrie and picking me up. From there we go on to Cambridge to J***’s place where I will celebrate with my new family.

The only drawback of course is money. My money goes into my account and then goes right back out again for bills. I have nothing left over. I’m not starving because I get my food from the food bank. but I don’t have any cash. So I’m going to be cleaning apartments now for cash. Not a great idea as it will affect my fibromyalgia a lot. But I can’t think of anything else I can do. People need cash. To buy toiletries,… clothes,…etc,….. So I don’t feel like I have any other choice. I feel I’m being forced to work under the table even when physically it will be a struggle. But until our government realizes no one can live on $1,169.00 a month and raises the amount we receive, then I am being forced to make money elsewhere.

And that about wraps up what I have been up to. For once in a very long time I can say I am happy and enjoying life once again.