I just did something I shouldn’t have done. I went on to my daughters facebook page and saw pictures of my granddaughter. My heart is literally broken. I feel like their is an actual ache in my chest when I look at photos of her. It hurts to see this precious child ~ so beautiful ~ and not be allowed to see her.
I can’t fucking bear it. I really can’t,… THAT just pushed me over the edge. I should never have looked. I knew it would be too painful. I am a mess right now. I just can’t bear life without my girls.
I just want to die,…
If I can’t be with my children and my granddaughter then I just want to die,….
Life is too fucking painful.
I just want to DIE!
Published by jacquie~rose
I’m a 60 year old woman who suffers from depression/social anxiety/OCD/and I'm a recovering drug addict. When the computer era came in I discovered “blogging”. Since I have a lot of family & friends that live some distance away (Canada, United Kingdom & Australia) I found this to be a great way to keep everyone up-to-date on my daily life. It started out as a non-descript everyday blog. But over the past few years it has since turned into a journal of my life dealing with the above mentioned issues. Not many people knew how badly I suffered from this mental illness and addiction so it came as some-what of a shock for them. I had always tried to hide my illness every way I could. But now, It’s ‘un-hidable’. People notice the change in me. So instead of trying to find excuse after excuse to explain away my behavior I decided to “come out” and just let the whole world know. This is the ramblings of my life
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